Statement by Douglas Urbanski:
All of a sudden, as Gary’s well deserved acclaim is hitting its highest point, a number of reckless and incomplete, old lies, have started popping up in the internet and elsewhere.
Each and every one of these mentions is made thru innuendo and ludicrous “allegations”.
I have read of Gary’s “dark past”, of drug usage, and even “prostitutes”.
The problem is that all of this is a complete fabrication. None of these things ever occurred.
There is no “dark past”, no drug usage ever, and certainly no prostitutes.
There never was any “domestic abuse”, as is addressed in a statement elsewhere on this site.
Each and every one of these “allegations” were fully, thoroughly, and completely investigated AT THE TIME of the accusations, and each one was found to have NO BASIS IN FACT.
Here is the backstory.
Gary Oldman was briefly married to Donya Fiorentino. Despite his very best intentions for a successful marriage, he slowly realized that he had married a hopelessly addicted drug user who additionally possessed serious psychological issues.
When that marriage ended, there as a bitter divorce and custody battle which was complete with false “allegations”.False allegations against a father are nothing new, sadly, in the world of divorce and custody battles.
In this case there were many false accusations, some of them so bizarre that one wondered who could dream up such stuff.
Because there were criminal accusations, and because the children in question were young minors, a very, very intense and thorough investigation took place which looked at each and every aspect of these things.
Involved in various aspects of that investigation were several judges, the district attorney, the LAPD, private detectives, Family Services, TWO qualified state appointed evaluators, and a child phycologist.
Parts of this investigation took nearly a year, although other parts, such as the “domestic violence” allegation for example, quickly crumbled because it was almost immediately proven to have never occurred. Ms. Fiorentino had invented the story.
Both Mr. and Mrs. Oldman were subject to evaluation and psychological testing, and although those tests are protected and only seen by the courts, the court rulings and results give us a pretty good roadmap of understanding what was in them.
At various points, and over and over, Ms. Fiorentino was shown to be lying. Her passing “relationship with the truth, if she had one at all”, her disposition as a “pathological liar”, her relentless drug usage, and her skills as a manipulator were all mentioned by almost every expert on the case, independent of each other, including the judge.
Some of her allegations were incredibly bizarre and far-fetched. Some of her most dramatic inventions related to years when she did not even know Gary! Virtually ALL of her allegations had numerous witnesses who refuted them. Family Services felt that she was a danger to her children and ex husband.
As more was learned, this came as less and less of a surprise. You see, Ms. Fiorentino had been previously married, also to a well known man. That marriage failed and also had a bitter, and almost identical, custody battle. In that case, she also made false accusations. In that case, she also lost complete physical and legal custody to the father.
Bloggers and others have continued to report on the “allegations”, but give virtually no space of balance to the reporting. No one bothers to fact check. No one bothers to learn if any of this is true. No one bothers to learn of the outcome and consequences of the accusations.
And yes, where WERE results, there was an outcome, and there were consequences.
ALL of it, 100% of it, was shown to be false.
The outcome, far from seeing Gary as some reckless, drug addicted, prostitute using, spousal abuser was just the opposite. Gary was shown to be the ideal parent.
Ms. Fiorentino had her children removed from her, in large part because of her fabrications. Her ability to lie and manipulate others was seen as a danger to her children. The state decided that she would only be allowed occasional, short, visits with her children, and that she would never be alone with them and always accompanied by a state appointed monitor. Even during those visits, she would attempt to get the children alone, at least one time in a bathroom, and attempt to “script” them against their father. Eventually she was not allowed to see them at all, and, as with her other child from her previous marriage, has not seen them for years and years.
Gary Oldman was found to be an ideal parent and awarded complete and full legal and physical custody of his children. Do you know how rare that is? Or how hard to have a court take those extreme steps? This is because all of the “accusations” proved to be false.
There are many stories to tell about all of this, and they are stories one wishes to never have to tell. But the smear of the “allegation”, especially when false, needs to be refuted as strongly as the true “allegation” needs to be exposed.
In Gary’s case, additionally, in his many adult relationships, there is no pattern of any of this. Far from it. He is almost always referred to by friends and work colleagues—during a long career, as a gentle soul, a consummate professional, a kind, caring, sensitive man. Everyone who knows him, including ex-wives and relationships, directors, co stars, journalists. There is no instance of Gary Oldman sexually (or otherwise!) harassing, assaulting, abusing, anyone, woman or man, EVER. There is not one assistant, not one employee or work colleague, no one, who has ever made such a suggestion about Gary Oldman. Not one, ever.
In my own case, Gary and I have been the closest of friends for at least 30 years. My wife Diane and I are the godparents of his children, and Diane was present at the birth of his boys. Gary lived in our guest house for years. From 1990 onwards, there was virtually not one trip he ever took, not one location he ever worked on, not one relationship he ever had, not one place ever where he was ever alone or where Diane and I were not nearby. We have been in each other’s company in dozens of hotels, on hundreds of flights, and thousands of meals. We have gone to the theatre, cooked, had family outings, trips and vacations, weekend barbecues, and every holiday and birthday dinners during these decades. We share friends and work colleagues. While Gary is a very private person, he also has a very very close family group around him.
The Gary Oldman described in these sensational, deliberately misleading items, full of innuendo, but failing on facts—the Gary Oldman I have known intimately for both of our entire adult lives is not the man portrayed by a mentally ill ex-wife during a custody trial. He is not, and could not be that guy. He never was, not then, not previously, and not now.
The items suddenly appearing, have all been written about, fairly accurately, when they occurred, and in real time. These items, as currently framed, are misleading. You need to read beyond the sensationalist headline and carefully to find the obligatory careful words tossed in indicating that the facts and results are different from the accusations. But the impression left by the malicious headline, the framing of the old item, is a deviously misleading one. These items, are not even news.
In the case of Gary Oldman, the words “fake news” fit perfectly!!
By the way, the courts proved right. Gary put his career mostly on hold to devote himself to being a full time single dad of two boys. Quite a job. And now, these many years later, what a terrific job he has done, and terrific father and friend he has been.
The smears and innuendos, the suggestion that allegations (already proven to be lies) are more important than the truth, all of this, is grotesque and unfair to one of the most decent and kindest and caring people I have ever known.Gary has a big heart, a kind humor, a generous nature, a loyal disposition---and the ONLY one suggesting otherwise was a bitter ex wife during a custody battle.